Friday, March 20, 2009

What a long strange trip it’s been………

Our trip started out normal enough. We traveled from Fort Riley Kansas to Topeka to board the plane that would take us to our home for the next year, Kirkuk Iraq.  This is where it became interesting. There were over 100 Soldiers who were going to board the plane accompanied by 5 to 6 bags each.  To our surprise, when we boarded the plane we found that we would be sharing the plane with our bags who were upright in chairs as if they were passengers.  Next, we crammed into the back of the plane which, now that we have experienced it, can only be compared to what sardines must feel like.  Imagine 10 seats stuffed across per aisle. They were broken into 3 sections: 3 seats, 4 seats, and 3 seats. Now imagine grown men, many with carry-on bags, two weapons each, and chairs that were sized for the average 13 year old and you can begin to understand our situation.  Needless to say, the individuals unfortunate to be sitting in the middle were rather uncomfortable. Once airborne, they did allow us to shift from our seats to the unoccupied cabin in the front of the plane which made the flight much more tolerable.

We were in the air for nearly 10 hours before we landed in Ireland.  Much to our dismay, we were prohibited from drinking alcoholic beverages in the airport (who wouldn’t want to get rip-roaring drunk with an Irishman?)  We were allowed into the duty free shop (tax free) and were able to purchase extremely overpriced goods.  After a short break, we had to board the plane again like little sardines until we were airborne.

Our next stop, nearly 8 hours later, was in Kuwait.  It was early in the morning but we have now gained 8 hours from EST back in the states.  We were taken off the plane, put on buses and drove to a staging area to wait for an escort to Camp Buerhing.  We were there for what seemed like forever but finally made it to the camp just as the sun rose.  The camp, minus the sand, could have passed for an installation in the states.  There was a Starbucks, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Burger King, Green Bean Coffee (much like Starbucks), Subway, Pizza Inn (think Pizza Hut), and several PX (post exchange) stores available as well as local nationals selling goods.  We moved into a sturdy tent structure that housed over 40 of us.  We each found a cot next to another team mate and moved in.

The training at the camp ranged from interesting to mind-numbing boring.  We were trained on our new chariot, the MRAP vehicle. The thing is a monster. It looks like a Tonka truck on steroids. There are several different varieties but the one we drove happened to weigh 56000 lbs.  It was amazing to drive. Being as large as it is you wouldn’t expect the vehicle to have the pick-up that it has. The one downside is that it’s a very stiff ride and a small bump for the driver can send the rear passengers airborne.  We quickly learned who the good drivers were and who will never get behind the wheel again.

The capstone event was a 3 day exercise that was turned into a 2 day exercise because of the horrific sandstorm that hindered practically everything.  If we ever send a human to Mars, I’m pretty sure that a Kuwaiti sandstorm is what the planet is going to look like. Everything turns orange in a bad sandstorm.  It’s difficult to judge just how bad it is until you walk inside and see colors that you’re used to in contrast to the sky outside.  Eventually, we did make it through the exercise and, after moving camels off of the range, completed a very successful convoy live fire.

We stayed in Kuwait for a few extra days awaiting transportation where our daily routine included trips to the MWR facility, the USO, and the PX.  It is worth mentioning that the USO had a beautiful set up with phones and computers available for all the Soldiers.  When the time came, we boarded a C-17 and flew into Baghdad International airport.

When we arrived at Baghdad we were all excited because we were able to use the wireless internet service that they had there.  Our location was near the showers, the PX, and the Dining Facility (DFAC).  We had mattresses on our cots and with a little ingenuity, there were several queen size beds (stick two mattresses and cots together, use blanket to connect, viola, queen size bed)

Unfortunately, we had to leave Baghdad and we flew to Taji, a joint Coalition/Iraqi base north of Baghdad.  The base is large and is separated into two parts, an American side and an Iraqi side.  We were housed and trained on the Iraqi side. The living conditions were interesting to say the least.  We had bunk beds (which I swear were going to collapse at any moment), a small volleyball court, MWR facility, and a fairly decent DFAC.  Oh yeah, there were Iraqi toilets for the full experience. If you don’t know about the Iraqi toilets, just imagine a hole where the toilet should be and that’s it.  Now, I won’t get graphic, but imagine how you would do your business while aiming for that hole.  

The training at Taji was all classroom training and it was boring.  I don’t mean to sound bitter but it really was an exercise in superfluous activity.  I wish I could write about the training but the most I got from Taji was how to take a large amount of sunflower seeds, put them all in my mouth, and crack the shells individually.  I would like to claim that as my own but the directions were on the back of the bag (go read one)

We did, however, rekindle the Officer VS Non-Commissioned Officer (NCO) rivalry on the volleyball court vice the basketball court.  There were several nights of extremely vicious games normally ending with the Officers being defeated which was well planned to bolster the morale of the NCOs.

We finished and looked forward to leaving but were told that our flight wouldn’t be until the day after we graduated.  We grudgingly accepted but we waited.  Our flight was then cancelled just as we were preparing to leave so we waited some more.  Two nights later we took all of our bags to the flight line to get on the helicopter and our flights were cancelled, and we waited.  Two more nights later and we packed all of our gear, drove to the coalition side, waited for the helicopter and…….you guessed it, our flight was cancelled.  By this time we were convinced our entire tour was going to be spent in Taji waiting for air movement to Kirkuk. 

Finally, the moon aligned with Jupiter or something and we flew out to Kirkuk. We were greeted by the team that we were going to replace and brought all of our things to CHUs which stands for Container Housing Units (I think).  We moved in and the next day went to our office where we’d be working. 

Our office is centrally located on the light side (Air force side) while our CHUs are on the dark side (Army side).  Near the office is a gym, pool, Bazaar (locals selling goods), and laundry.  The team that we’re replacing has been eagerly passing on as much knowledge to us as they can because our time with them was cut short by our flight cancellations and we have been soaking up as much information as we can.

The mission here is not one that we planned or trained for. We trained to advise an Iraqi Army Battalion on how to operate but here we find ourselves advising a Provincial Police Headquarters.  Now you’re probably asking yourself “what do these guys know about police work?” to wit we would answer: absolutely nothing.  Fortunately for us we’ve been paired with a group of extremely professional retired law enforcement officials who train the Iraqis on police-specific functions as we work as liaisons for the Army force that is in the area.

Needless to say, it’s an interesting scenario with many different issues and we are all working hard to understand not just what’s going on but how to succeed. It’s going to be a very interesting year and we’re all eager to take on this challenge.  Never would we have thought that a group of Army officers and senior NCOs would be advising an Iraqi Police Headquarters but here we are, this is where our fight is, and this is the road ahead. You can’t make this stuff up.

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